Mike Clarke’s Semolina Pilchard is a loud, chaotic, hilarious, heartfelt love letter to Liverpool that firmly establishes Clarke as one of the most exciting independent filmmakers currently working in the UK.
Part gangster comedy, part family drama, part outright farce, the film feels like a Scouse cousin to Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, packed with eccentric characters, sharp dialogue, criminal mishaps, emotional undercurrents, and enough jokes to keep the two hour runtime flying by. And that runtime genuinely does fly. There is always something happening, always another character entering the madness, another subplot colliding with another, another ridiculous plan going disastrously wrong.
At the centre of the story is Clara Reynolds, played brilliantly by Sarah Louise Chadwick. Having spent years away from Liverpool, Clara is summoned home by her gangster father Gerry, portrayed by Joe McGann. Clara wants little to do with the criminal world she left behind, but returning home inevitably drags her back into the orbit of family tensions, local gangsters, and increasingly dangerous situations.
What makes Clara such a strong lead is that, despite her flaws and her own issues with drugs, she is still one of the most level headed people in the entire film. In a movie filled with criminals, loose cannons, and people making unbelievably stupid decisions, Clara often feels like the only person trying to navigate the madness with some sense of reason. The true moral centre of the film, however, may actually be Amy, played by Gabriella Tavini, who gives Clara a place to stay and acts as a grounded, caring presence amid the insanity unfolding around them.
Sophia Leanne Kelly clearly has a fantastic time as Clara’s younger sister Danika, a determined and jealous woman convinced their father intends to leave everything to Clara. Kelly throws herself fully into the role, balancing comedy and menace perfectly. Danika’s solution to her problems is to hire an assassin to deal with Clara, which introduces one of the film’s absolute highlights.
That assassin is Rosie, played by Alina Allison in a genuine scene stealing performance. Rosie is one of those rare comedy crime characters that instantly becomes memorable the moment she appears onscreen. Completely unpredictable, oddly cheerful, and dangerously unhinged, Rosie dreams of becoming a superstar singer despite being hilariously terrible at it. One minute she is chatting away with bubbly enthusiasm about music and fame, the next she is more than willing to shoot someone in the face if the money is right. Allison is outstanding throughout, delivering one of the funniest performances in the film.
Then there is Max and his hopelessly chaotic gang of robbers, led by Macaulay Cooper. Their post office robberies, carried out in animal masks, provide some of the film’s funniest moments, especially whenever Tim Lucas’ Al gets involved. Al is an absolute riot throughout the movie, constantly coming up with bizarre criminal schemes that sound genius in his own head but collapse almost immediately in execution. A standout sequence involving a break in intended to send a threatening message goes spectacularly wrong, leading to some of the biggest laughs in the film.
Another brilliant running gag involves Davey, played by Joe Egan. Davey is physically intimidating, but seemingly far more interested in whatever mobile game he is constantly playing. Throughout the film, you can hear endless “pew pew pew” sound effects coming from his phone as chaos unfolds around him. It is such a small touch, but it becomes increasingly funny every single time.
Clarke and co writer Daina Ann Smith fill the screenplay with jokes, witty exchanges, and colourful Scouse humour. Importantly though, the comedy never overwhelms the emotional side of the story. There are quieter moments here too, particularly involving Clara reconnecting with people from her past, including Jack Ryder’s Des, which help give the film heart beneath all the criminal madness.
The cast itself is packed with recognisable British faces, which gives the film even more charm. Ricky Tomlinson appears in a memorable cameo early on, while familiar names such as Louis Emerick, James Dreyfus, Tina Malone, Kate Fitzgerald, and Joe McGann all bring personality to their roles. Louis Emerick especially leaves a strong impression despite limited screen time, bringing genuine menace whenever he appears.
Visually, Semolina Pilchard has confidence and energy. Clarke uses stylish transitions, energetic editing, and strong pacing to keep everything moving, while the Liverpool locations give the film authenticity and identity. But perhaps one of the film’s greatest strengths is its soundtrack.
Quite frankly, the soundtrack is exceptional. Featuring music from OMD, Black, Amsterdam, Ian McNabb, Dean Sullivan and more, the songs elevate scene after scene and help give the film its unique flavour. The music feels deeply connected to Liverpool itself, adding another layer to what is already a genuine celebration of the city and its culture.
Semolina Pilchard Brings The Liverpool Humour and Drama
What is perhaps most impressive is how Mike Clarke continues to grow as a filmmaker. Following A Light Through Coloured Glass and the outstanding short Make Believe, Clarke is showing himself to be one of the strongest independent directors currently working in Britain. He clearly understands character, pacing, humour, and tone, and he knows how to get the best out of his actors.
Give Mike Clarke a larger budget and wider exposure, and there is absolutely no reason his name should not be mentioned alongside more famous filmmakers from around the world. Semolina Pilchard is funny, heartfelt, chaotic, stylish, and endlessly entertaining. Independent British cinema needs more films with this much personality.
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